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A NEW FORM OF SELF​-​HATRED (EP)

by Emily Coffey

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1.
ifeelshitty 02:15
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Hands that destroy Pain you enjoy Raising your voice I'm paranoid But how the fuck can you blame me? You're crushing the veins While I'm wasting away Sometimes I swear I can't breathe on my own I can't trust myself Have you made me your clone? And the saddest part of it all is I put the nail in the coffin myself I guess I'm just your goddamn sinner Baby you are my sentence in hell Like a falling star I have travelled the night all my life In the dark, I can create my own light My own light Bloody mouth Hollowed out Broken down Bones carved out Dead, discarded Promised a lifetime And thrown away like garbage Thrown away, thrown away Like a falling star I have travelled the night all my life In the dark, I can create my own light Like a falling star I have travelled the night all my life In the dark, I can create my own light My own My own light
2.
Convergent Evolution 03:36
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Where could I go? Alive and well In this hell that they’ve created They showed me A new form of self-hatred No more anguish Nightmare of your design Framework devised To marginalize Born to love myself Taught to hate myself By everyone else Society gaslights I swear that I’m right But keep it inside To make it through the night And when the sun goes down again Better bet this not the end The light in me won’t lie to me The fight in me survives And I will die to be free Where could I go? Alive and well In this hell that they’ve created They showed me A new form of self-hatred No more hiding Metamorphosize Divine guiding This is not the end This is not the end Where could I go? Alive and well In this hell that they’ve created They showed me A new form of self-hatred
3.
Falling Away From Me 04:35
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Hey, I'm feeling tired My time is gone today You flirt with suicide Sometimes, that's okay Do what others say I'm here, standing hollow Falling away from me Falling away from me Day is here fading That's when I would say I flirt with suicide Sometimes kill the pain I can always say It's gonna be better tomorrow Falling away from me Falling away from me Beating me down Beating me, beating me Down, down Into the ground Screaming some sound Beating me, beating me Down, down Into the ground (Falling away from me) It's spinning round and round (Falling away from me) It's lost and can't be found (Falling away from me) It's spinning round and round (Falling away from me) Beating me down Beating me, beating me Down, down Into the ground Screaming some sound Beating me, beating me Down, down Into the ground Twisting me, they won't go away So I pray, go away Beating me down Beating me, beating me Down, down Into the ground Screaming some sound Beating me, beating me Down, down Into the ground Beating me down Beating me, beating me (falling away from me) Down, down Into the ground (falling away from me) Screaming some sound Beating me, beating me (falling away from me) Down, down Into the ground
4.
Taste of You 03:01
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I need another drink To wash away the taste of you I need more drugs to take my mind off of you I need another drink To wash away the taste of you I need more drugs To take my mind off of you The flavor, I savor it So bitter and ripe Like flowers in bloom The sweetness departs too soon I can’t look away this time (this time) I need another drink To wash away the taste of you I need more drugs To take my mind off of you I need another drink To wash away the taste of you Powder to take my mind off of you I expect Nothing less As it begins To coalesce I get stressed Then get wrecked Cause I need To forget I’ve got a problem that I need to address When you lose my trust, you never get it back again No I need another drink To wash away the taste of you I need more drugs to take my mind off of you I need another drink To wash away the taste of you Why can’t anything take my mind off of you?
5.
Daddy Issues 01:59
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I put my eyeliner on and smoke cigarettes I’ve been cursin' bitches like I’ve got Tourette’s I got too many problems and hits I ain’t played yet Lines to cross and enemies I ain’t made yet You got a problem with me, then it’s time to face it Cause no matter what you heard, I ain’t one to fake it I might be a bitch, but I swear I won’t take it If you’re gonna say something then it’s time to say it I’ve been unwanted my whole life, so it’s nothing new And I gotta talk shit cause I’m better than you I’ve been unwanted my whole life, so it’s nothing new And I gotta talk shit cause there’s nothing to do Another day here and I’m bored out my damn mind I mastered myself in each one of my past lives I never start a fight, you just need to act right Now I need a new man, I got over mine last night Tell me all you want, I got a bad attitude I’m rude as fuck, bitch, I’ve got daddy issues I’ve been unwanted my whole life, so it’s nothing new And I gotta talk shit cause I’m better than you I’ve been unwanted my whole life, so it’s nothing new And I gotta talk shit cause there’s nothing to do I’ve been unwanted my whole life, so it’s nothing new And I gotta talk shit cause I’m better than you I’ve been unwanted my whole life, so it’s nothing new And I gotta talk shit cause there’s nothing to do
6.
LMTFA 03:00
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I can see your sickness I’ll trace it to the roots Bastardize the truth So you can justify abuse Tell me that you’re clean With blood on your hands You condemn what you don’t understand I know all of the conditions behind How you position the lie And keep blurring the lines To keep control of our lives Cowards with no spine What gives you the right To tell me what is mine? Threatened, you lash out Pre-emptive, without a doubt All just to be the last man standing All praise be to the last man standing Your control is fading It’s hard to let go The life that you promised Has left us with nowhere to go By your own hands You will reap what you’ve sown It’s all said and done So just leave me the fuck alone You promised us the world And gave it to us empty You make every attempt To reject and disrespect me Pockets lined with A wicked design A middle man between God and a dollar sign To make it right Would force you to decline Supremacy aligned And privilege you deny They say the devil is the church’s best friend A surrogate for hate that prays for our death No I’ve never felt so fucking low Oh, can you save my soul With the life you stole from me? Your control is fading It’s hard to let go The life that you promised Has left us with nowhere to go By your own hands You will reap what you’ve sown It’s all said and done So just leave me the fuck alone

about

are you ready for the rebirth?

credits

released November 11, 2022

written, performed, & recorded by Emily Coffey

tracks 1, 2, & 6 produced by desmo.
tracks 3 & 5 produced by Emily Coffey
track 4 produced by Phil Boyce

artwork by Emily Coffey
copyright © 2022 Actually, It's Emily ℗

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Emily Coffey Portland, Maine

1-woman metal band

[nu england] 🏴

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